Making Disciples through Hospitality
by Kelly Williams
For those of you who attended my breakout session at the national meeting, this will sound familiar to you.
What comes to your mind when I say hospitality? Is it cooking a big, impressive meal for folks you personally invite into your home at a particular time and date? Perhaps a party with a theme where you go all out with decorations and food, and maybe even costumes?
Where would you place yourself on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being love, love, love having guests etc.
What preconceived ideas do you have about hospitality? What would be your first thought if I were to tell you that Franklin Graham is coming to your home for dinner next Friday night? Would you panic?
Growing up if my mom made a cake on Sunday afternoon, I knew she was planning to invite some family over after church. Those were fun times. The kids would go to my room and we would play board games.
Is hospitality something that we can learn? Or is it something we are born with?
My story isn’t pretty regarding hospitality. Ken surrendered to the ministry seven years into our marriage. I love being a pastor’s wife most of the time. Except when it comes to folks dropping by unannounced at my home. This has gotten better over the years as God has taught me more about hospitality than just making a cake on Sunday afternoon.
I have no idea why Judy Wallace thought I was the person to teach this breakout session! I certainly was not born with the hospitality gene.
I’m going to share an ugly story about me and being unwelcome. Actually two ugly stories. The first took place before Ken surrendered to preach. We lived in northwest Arkansas where Ken taught vocation agriculture and I worked for lawyers in town. This woman, Susan, came to work in the law offices because she and her husband had separated in Arizona and she had come home to live with her parents while she sorted out her life.
Our church was having a revival one week, so I invited her to come to our home for dinner after work Wednesday night and then go to the revival with us. Dinner went fine, but when we got ready to go to church, she decided she wanted to ride with us. In my logical mind which is always looking for the BEST way to do things, it didn’t make sense with me for her to do this, but I hospitably agreed. When we got back home after church, she decided to come in “for a bit.” Ken went on to bed (it was probably 9:00 pm by then) because he had to get up early for school. I sat with her and she pulled out her knitting. At 11:00 pm (we had to be at work by 8:00 the next morning) I finally said these words (These are the ugly words in this story) “I’m going to go put on my pajamas so you can go home.” Not the best example of love or hospitality, is it?
The other ugly story was when we lived in Marked Tree. Ken was going to seminary, I was working at the seminary in the Doctor of Ministry office, and the three kids were attending a private Christian school at that time. I came home from work one Wednesday, arriving home around 6:00 pm, with prayer meeting starting at 7:30. I had left a list of chores for the kids to do, and I walked in the door to find them and four or five friends laying in the floor watching tv. Nothing had been done as far as I could tell since school was out. THEN, the back door just opened and in walked one of the church attenders. (We lived across the street from a low-income housing development). Without even thinking I turned to the door and said, “Why don’t you knock?” What I didn’t know was Ken had opened the door for her and allowed her to come in ahead of him. To say the least, I had to apologize several times in our ministry for my mouth getting way ahead of my brain. So you can see how far I had to go to be more hospitable!
Praise God I have learned a few things about biblical hospitality since then! Probably the most important thing I’ve learned is what true biblical hospitality is.
The very first chapter of the Bible shows God’s hospitality to us. He invited Adam and Eve to dwell in a beautiful garden He had created. What other instances in Scripture can you mention that deal with hospitality.
Some biblical examples of hospitality that come to mind are Martha (always serving), Elijah and the widow, etc.
Let’s read Colossians 3:1-17 together, focusing particularly on verse 14.
If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. 2 Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. 3 For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory.
5 Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. 6 Because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience, 7 in which you yourselves once walked when you lived in them.
Let’s stop just a moment and let me tell you something I recently learned that helped me fully see what “put to death” the old man. I think it is really about setting aside all selfishness.
This explanation uses a cocoon to explain the death of your old life and the birth of your new life in Christ.
I’ve always thought that a caterpillar just closes itself in a cocoon and changes shape in a certain amount of time. It grows a couple little wings and changes a few things and comes out. But what actually happens is more like annihilation. When a caterpillar seals itself inside it releases enzymes, its own enzyme, and those enzymes digest its body. The muscles dissolve, the organs dissolve, everything that made it what it was (a caterpillar) liquefies. It doesn’t reorganize, it unmakes itself into soup. Cellular soup, no form, no shape, no identity. If you were to open the cocoon at this point, you wouldn’t see half a butterfly/half a caterpillar. You would see nothing recognizable, you would think it was dead. You would see what looks like a total destruction, but you would be wrong, because hidden inside that little caterpillar since the very first day of its life are tiny clusters of cells. Scientists call them imaginal discs. They have been there all along, dormant, sleeping, waiting. Carrying the complete blueprint of the butterfly. Its color, its blueprint of a beautiful butterfly, all of it encoded from birth. But here’s the part that changes everything. The imaginal discs cannot activate when the caterpillar is still intact. The old form (the old life) has to dissolve first. The destruction isn’t a malfunction, the destruction is a requirement. The caterpillar has to lose everything it was before it can become what it was always carrying inside itself and it uses the soup, the dissolved remains of its former self as fuel to build something entirely new. The very thing it was becomes the raw material for the thing it’s becoming.
We have to put to death that selfishness that wants everything to be about us. If we invite someone into our home, we in our selfish nature want it to be a time of compliments on your home, your cooking, your everything. But with the caterpillar, nothing is wasted, nothing is lost. It’s transformed. We, when we accept Christ as our Savior, when we repent of our sin that nailed Him to the cross, when we invite Him into our heart and life, we are transformed from the caterpillar into the beautiful butterfly. Why wouldn’t we want others to know what Christ has done in us and for us?
8 But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth. 9 Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds, 10 and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him, 11 where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcised nor uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave nor free, but Christ is all and in all.
Character of the New Man
12 Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. 14 But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. 15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. 17 And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.
So what is biblical hospitality? Biblical hospitality is defined as “the quality of receiving and treating guests and strangers in a warm, friendly, generous way.” In the New Testament, the Greek word translated “hospitality” literally means “love of strangers.” Hospitality is a virtue that is both commanded and commended throughout Scripture. We are to show love to strangers, fellow believers, and all we come in contact with.
BUT, would you agree that the easiest way to share Christ is to first know someone? Relationships causes making disciples to be much easier, because we have to love that person enough to share Christ with them. Loving someone is easier when you get to know them. Inviting them into your heart, your home, is certainly easier to do with those you love.
So how do we show Christ’s love through hospitality? It is not the dinner party where you try to out-do everyone. That makes the hospitality about you, not your guests.
What would you say is the most important element when you invite someone into your house?
Is it how clean it is? How about your furniture? Your food you have prepared? Or is it about your smile and your welcome? Do your guests feel like they are imposing? Or do they feel like you want them there?
As I’ve gotten older and our kids are all on their own, it is a bit easier to keep the house clean and not cluttered. But I do still live with a man! So my home is not always perfect. I have a dog. She is small and doesn’t shed, but does my house smell like a dog? Is my furniture old and does it look shabby? All these things go through my mind when someone knocks on our door. We do live in the parsonage so we get all kinds of visitors, some of which I do not know. Some are looking for the pastor because they are in need. Some are church members dropping by with some food they want to share with us, sometimes folks just want to say hi.
Hospitality is not just about welcoming others into your home, it is about welcoming others into your LIFE! Your heart must be open to receive others with love. Is that hard for you? Or are you a “people person”? Some introverts just want to be home in their muumuu’s all by themselves, while others like folks around all the time. Does being an introvert excuse you from being hospitable? No, we are all commanded to love one another and be open to helping others any way we can.
I want to encourage you all to think right now of someone you can open your heart to. Perhaps a new visitor at church, or a widow who lives alone with few family members living nearby. Maybe start small. Maybe just invite them to a restaurant for coffee, or lunch. If possible, you can make it your treat. I think young mothers would especially enjoy something like that and you can help her with the children at lunch. I think if someone had done that for me when I had three children under the age of 4, I would have loved them FOREVER!
Start small and then don’t stop. If you want to have a gathering at your home, you can always make it a potluck and have your guests bring one thing. That certainly simplifies everything for the hostess.
The key to making disciples through hospitality is simple. Just open the door. Both the literal door of your home and the door to your heart.
Prayer: Father, I pray today that you will help me be open to others, whether in my home or outside the walls. Help me to be an example of Jesus’ love for others. Help me to serve YOU by serving others. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
